The Great White Elephant In The Room
It starts out in my head with a cloud, wispy, sort of nebulous just very subtly insinuating itself into my brain. I can still see my plotlines and characters, but I find myself having difficulty reaching out to them, my fingers constantly slip as I try to hold onto them. Sometimes I am able to successfully navigate the cloud and push through it. Other times, I can’t because it is too strong for that.
Then it moves to my fingers and the curious sensation of having several teams of very tiny bricklayers whose only job is to build up walls and barricades at the tips of my fingers. So that even if I did manage to work my way through the cloud in my head, the ideas and plotlines come to a screeching halt at my fingers. This is by far one of the most frustrating aspects of this phenomenon called writer’s block.
Then finally it’s an actual sort of person, not quite spirit and not quite fully tangible. She is standing facing me, her palms touching mine and her face a hairsbreadth away from mine. She is wearing my face and she is the final stage, there is no getting around her. Because she is, essentially me, she has all of my knowledge and understands how I think, which makes it easier for her to counteract any move I make. She is very much like Gandalf standing strong in front of the Balrog in Tolkien’s Fellowship of the Ring. It is impossible to take her down without in the end, going down myself.
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